Shame
by xXxhunibeaxXx
Summary: How much can one person bear?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own King Arthur!!**

**Shame**

She hid in her room, the one place he would never find her because he'd never been there. She had always gone to him out of respect for his status as a Knight of the Round Table. Tears streamed down her pale face and her stomach lurched. How could she hide this? Everyone knew where she went at nights. Everyone knew that for the time being, she was off limits to any and all other men. No one would touch her whilst under the Knight's protection.

No one would touch her under _his_ glare.

Bree wiped away her tears with an angry hand. How could she have been so stupid!? There would be no living this down. Not ever. She'd forever be known as the whore to the Sarmation Knight. She wouldn't be able to hide the evidence of this for long. He knew her body. Knew it intimately. He would notice it's slow change. He always noticed. Her father would be so ashamed of her! Tears coursed like little rivers now splashing against the thin material of her grey wool gown but she didn't see them. All of her hopes and dreams had been turned into ash. Her hope to marry well and her dream to leave the fort behind were naught now. Her hopes and desires had all turned in to a child...

"Lancelot! Where's your wench gotten too? Pretty little thing, her. Don't tell me she's finally had enough of letting you think you satisfy her?" Gawain's voice slurred and merry did nothing to help his brother-in-arms temperament. Bree had not been seen all day according to Vanora, in fact Bree hadn't been seen since yesterday evening when she'd left the market place in early afternoon. Lancelot had assumed she was running errands for her mother but Bree always helped at the tavern especially when it was busy and it was bursting at the seams now that Woads and the people of the fort lived together in peace. Lancelot had sat at the table holding his mug of ale with a jaw that looked set to break all evening. He had not seen her for two weeks now. For two weeks she'd avoided him and his bed. Two long weeks in which every time he'd seen her had been when he couldn't grasp her arm for a moment and demand that she tell him where the hell she thought she'd been?! Lancelot wasn't foolish enough to think that he loved Bree, she was a nice girl but a very naïve one if he'd ever seen on. Her father was the one of the fort's blacksmiths, a large and doting man of which Bree was the apple of his eye. He'd not taken kindly to Lancelot's eye on his daughter nor so had her mother, a vile wench if he'd ever seen one. Nora's story was well known by all at the tavern. She'd been a daughter of a wealthy Roman general who'd visited the fort 19 years ago. She had met Aldwin and fallen pregnant much to the shame of her father who'd demanded the two wed and then washed his hands of the whole incident. Bree had been the result of that. Not that she had suffered for it, everyone had accepted her for she was kind hearted and gentle in her way. But she believed that love conquered all and that she would marry for that blasted emotion! Nonetheless she had been an eager pupil to his bed and a clean one at that, he mused. Ever since the Knights had come back from patrol two weeks ago he'd seen neither hair nor hide of the girl in his vicinity alone. Lancelot shook his head. Women! He scoffed.  
"Lancelot! No wench on your arm this night? Again?" Gawain was starting to annoy the dark knight immensely.

"Ha! `e wouldn't know what to do wiv one!" Bors roared much to the amusement of the other knights.

Lancelot forced a cocky smile to his face. "Perhaps that's why Vanora seeks my company whilst you slumber then Bors. At least with me, she's guaranteed to be tired from a good night well spent rather from listening to your snores!"

The men fell apart with laughter and Bors turned back to the bar with a grunt. Lancelot stood and searched the tavern once more for her. She wasn't there. Again.

"You!" He snagged the arm of another bar maid.

"Mi lord?" She smiled slyly up at him.

"Have you news of Bree?" He demanded.

The bar maid looked quite shocked and within reason he mused. Lancelot never asked after other women. It was something he had never done not in all the years that he had been at this fort!

"Nay mi lord. Last I `eard she were abed ill." The wench snapped pulling her sleeve from the dark knight's grasp.

"Where does she sleep? At her parent's house?" Lancelot said next before the wench went.

"Nay next to the smithy's. She `elps her pa in the mornin' mi lord." That said the bar maid disappeared.

Lancelot sat down his mug and strode from the tavern leaving the pretty bar wenches and his brothers roaring with laughter, and singing with drunken merriment.

Bree cursed as she knocked over a mug of water from her beside table. Today was not going well.

_'I might as well go to bed. And pray things are better in the morning.' _She thought. With that thought she changed into a grey cotton nightshirt and sank onto her bed closing her tired eyes to the weary day that she'd had.

She was almost asleep when her door came crashing open. She sat up in alarm ready to throw her candle at the intruder until she saw who it was.

"My Lord, you should not be here. My father will come at dawn to open the smithy." She began quietly hiding her eyes from his own.

"If you wanted to stop coming to my bed wench all you had to do was bloody well say so! I'm not in the habit of waiting for maiden's!" Lancelot replied.

"Forgive me, my lord. I thought my absence from you had told you that. After all two weeks is a long time for our knight to not have some warm and willing body next to him."

Bree's voice was quiet. She wasn't a timid girl but any stretch of the imagination but nor was a doormat ready to be walked all over.

Lancelot strode forward grasping her chin in his large hands and forcing her head up to meet his eyes.

"What is wrong with you? You seem changed." He spoke quietly still. Although his voice was enquiring she heard the steel behind it.

"Nothing is wrong my lord. I am merely tired that's all." She avoided his dark eyes like the plague.

"Damn you Bree! Tell me now what it is that's wrong with you!" He demanded and glowered at her when she shook her head from his hand.

"Please go my lord. I have no wish to see or hear you again. I am very tired and would like nothing more than to sleep." She replied.

Lancelot glared at her bowed head and then shook his own.

"So be it girl. Let it be known that I renounce any claim I may have once had on you. Let the Roman's have you for all I care." he sneered and strode out of her room, crashing the door in place as he did so.

Bree trembled with shock. Lancelot was not a man who did things rashly. '_But then,_ she thought, _he's not used to women saying no to him either.'_

She'd find no rest this night and so she rose cleaning up her tiny room until dawn broke and her father would come to open up his shop.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Rumours were rife now. All had heard her mother's screeching and her father's bellows of anguish. Bree was pregnant. What was more she refused to name the father publicly. Everyone knew of course but a knight was not held by his responsibility to a silly girl who'd managed to get herself pregnant. Lancelot sat at the tavern watching the girl through narrowed eyes. She was nearly to her time he realised. Vanora was giving her less work these days as she prepared for the birth. Her mother was not speaking to her and her father's eyes were full of sorrow. Aldwin remembered well the circumstances of Bree's birth and it held his heart heavy.

Gawain and Galahad were full of nothing but sarcasm for the dark knight and they were beginning to grate on his last nerves.

"We all know the babe's yours Lancelot. Take control of the situation, its not you that will be held in shame for the rest of your life. It's her and that babe." Gawain spoke quietly.

Lancelot glared at his fellow knight and stood up. Bree had avoided serving any table where he or his brother's sat at. Dagonet and Bors would occasionally grab a moment of her time to enquire about her health and the babe but other than that she avoided them.

Lancelot sighed. He'd held no wish for a family.

Bree's back was hurting and she was getting tired faster now. The babe would be here in little less than three weeks and she was terrified. She'd had no guidance from her mother and her father was no help when it came to explain to her what to expect when giving birth. Vanora had tried but Bree wanted her mother to help her as her own had done when Bree had been born.

"You'll get no help from me girl! You made your bed and you can rot in it!" She'd declared when Bree had broken down and told her parents what was going to happen. Her father had been full of tears and it had broken Bree's heart to see her proud and strong father reduced to a sobbing man before her eyes.

"She'll come `round little `un. She's just upset." He'd soothed when Bree cried.

But Bree knew better. She was a living reminder of what her mother had lost. Power and a suitable match for a wealthy Roman woman. And now her daughter was following in her legacy. Bree set down the tray she was carrying and placed her hands on her back. It ached more harder now. She'd go to Vanora ask her if there was any way she could leave early tonight.

"Bree!" Bors' voice stopped her.

"My Lord." She replied carefully.

"You'd best be gettin' on 'ome. I've spoken to Vanora 'bout it. She seys for ya to rest easy. Don't want the babe comin' afore it's time." He said kindly.

Bree smiled gratefully. Although she had never allowed herself a friendship with Bors or any of the other knights save Lancelot, she recognised that he was being kind to her when his brother had not.

"Thank you my lord. Good night." She murmured as she slipped away.

Bors watched the girl go. She'd have a rough time of it once the babe was born he knew. Vanora had when he was away on missions, it was only his protection that had saved her shame but with Bree she would be forced to do this alone. Her mother was no help and her father didn't know what to do. Vanora had tried but the girl rightly wanted her mother. _'Poor little `un.'_ He thought.

Bree's breath was coming in short gasps now. She needed to get home. Something wasn't right. She knew it. She'd never been this uncomfortable before. Her knees went from beneath her as a terrible pain lanced through her belly. Bree cried out as she felt liquid sluicing down her legs.

"No, not now! I'm not ready! Please not now!"

**TBC**

**So? Should I continue or not? Please let me know xxxx**


	2. Fatherhood

**Lovebuggy and krazi4lancelot thank you so much!! I was really uncertain about posting Shame and you guys have really given me warm fuzziness! Thank you so much! *bows down***

**So on to another chapter I think? Yes??**

**Btw guys I'm not sure at all about this chapter!!!!**

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own King Arthur!!!**

**Shame**

Bree cried out again at the pain lancing through her body. She had to get home. She had too! But oh the pain! This was like nothing she had ever experienced. Why had no one warned her of the pain!?

_'I can't do it!'_ She thought. And then as suddenly as the pain had started it faded into dull throb between her legs. Bree breathed a sigh of relief and recognised that she must move quickly. She moved as fast as she could but the pain was still there and it hurt to move to quickly. Finally she saw the smithy's hut when her rooms were next too, she almost cried in relief knowing that she would be able to rest for a moment once inside. Bree stumbled into the door and then the pain began again, this one so severe she could only gasp and cry at its intensity.

"Please, please someone. Help me. Please."She whispered into the night.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Lancelot had grown tired of Gawain's sniping and Galahad's glares. He rose to leave for the night preferring to grab one of the pretty bar wenches on his way out. It never took much, a simple glance and a mischievous grin flashed their way and they were his. Admittedly Bree had taken a bit of work, she was a feisty girl underneath all that prim and proper "My Lord". He snorted. My Lord indeed! The wench hadn't so much as glanced at him since his confrontation with her all those months ago. He hadn't heard any rumours that she'd asked for him and he'd be damned before he'd swallow his pride and ask Bors or Dagonet about her or the babe she was to bear. Lancelot made his way over to Gwyneth a girl he'd bedded on more than a few occasions over the years.

"Finished Gwyn?" He asked with a lopsided smile.

The bar wench smiled slyly up at him in return. "Aye Mi Lord."

Lancelot nodded and grasped her around the waist and kissed her neck. Gwyneth giggled and took hold of his hand and led him away from the tavern. Both of them missed Vanora's child Gilly as he ran into the tavern and hurried to his mother.

"Gilly! Boy if I 'ave to tell ya once more 'bout ya bein' in 'ere!" Bors grasped his son's collar and lifted him.

"pa! Quickly, ya 'have ta come! Tis Bree!" the child gasped.

Bors frowned and looked to Vanora who placed a hand at her throat and set about leaving the tavern.

"Gilly, show me where she is!" Vanora looked worried.

Gilly stood for a moment listening to some of the tales flying around the tavern only to have his father turn his head back to face his disapproving mother.

"I ain't standin' 'ere for me 'ealth boy! Move now!" Vanora snapped. Gilly took his mother's hand and hurried through the tavern.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Bree gasped and cried out with pain. She didn't even have the strength to open her door. She would give birth right here in front of her father's hut. _'One more thing for me to be damned well shamed about!'_ She thought in frustration.

She screamed into the night as the pains grew worse and she had an unbelievable urge to push. But what if that was wrong? What if she harmed the babe? She'd never forgive herself!

"Bree! Oh lass!" She heard Vanora call out and sobbed.

Someone was here! Someone had come to help her! She sobbed harder for the kindness Vanora was showing.

"Gilly go on back to the tavern and grab yer pa. I need 'im and Dagonet to 'elp me get her inside! Quick boy off with ya!" She snapped at her son. The child ran off.

"Vanora! It hurts!" She cried.

"Shush me duck. I know. I know." Vanora soothed running a hand over the girl's sweat laced brow.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Lancelot allowed Gwyneth to lead him away when he saw Gilly racing back to the tavern.

"Boy! You're pa will be most displeased to find you in there." He grasped the boys collar and hauled him to a stand in front of the dark knight.

"But me mam said I 'ave to get 'im and Dagonet! She needs 'em to help Bree!" The lad gasped.

"What's the matter with her?" Lancelot frowned.

"Her babe's comin' ain't it? Let go!" The child yanked free and carried on.

The child was on its way? It wasn't supposed to be here till the beginning of winter.

"Gwyn, go back to the tavern. They've need of you!" One of the wenches hissed at her.

"But-" Gwyneth protested.

"Now! By all the gods girl get movin'!" The other snapped back.

Gwyneth gave a curse and slid off back to the tavern. Lancelot stood still, almost as if he were waiting for something. With a curse he strode off towards her parents home. Aldwin answered his polite knock and immediately glared at the knight.

"What do you want then?" He spat.

"Where is she?" Lancelot pushed past the older man with a glare.

"She ain't here boy! You should know that her ma ain't happy about her being with child!" Aldwin growled and glared at Lancelot with a deep loathing etched on to his face.

Lancelot let out an annoyed breath and left the smithy inside his home.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Bree panted and groaned aloud as the pain began to grow greater again.

"I... can't!" She cried out.

Vanora gave the younger girl a stern look. "Of course you can. You're going through what all women go through girl. You lay on ya back and this is your consequence!" She snapped. Bree threw her head back and moaned as the pain of child birth made themselves present again. She wanted to push.

"Go on girl, that's it, ya alright. Push Bree." Vanora ordered softly.

Bree couldn't stand it any more. She cried out and pushed.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Lancelot stood outside Bree's home and stared at the door all the while he could hear Bree screaming out in pain and anguish, he could hear Vanora soothing her and ordering her to push murmuring to the girl that it would be over soon. The dark knight clenched his fists and fought the urge to hit something solid repeatedly. And then all at once silence descended and then he heard it.

The wail of a newborn child and his mother's tears as she looked at it for the first time.

He was a father.

**TBC...**

**Hey everyone I've decided because of work commitments that I'll be updating every weekend. Sorry I kept you all waiting but I love to hear from you so review!!! Thankies :)**

**xXxhunibeaxXx**


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